lunes, 10 de octubre de 2011

I will always remember you


I will always remember you.. Some complicated words huh? Some words that have a lot of meanings and most of the time some painful moments. I will always remember my grandma her names was Marcela, my parents didn’t named me Marcela because of her, but I know we had a special bond. I was her first granddaughter, so she was really excited with me. We used to spent a lot of time together, when I was just a baby she always take care of me, she loved spending time with me and when my parents go out she was the first person to say that she wanted to take care of me. I cannot remember all of the times we spent together when I was a little kid, because I can’t remember much of it, but I know she loved to take me to the beach and also to horse rides. My grandma and my aunts always tell about a story that they enjoyed a lot. The story is that one sunny day my parents went out, so they decided that I was going to be a “model” and they were going to take a lot of pictures of me with different clothes. Since I was the new baby, the new toy of the family the way they entertain was with me. So they took my whole closet out and start changing me and taking pictures of me when they were done and tired they sat down to see the pictures when they saw that there was no memory card in it so they didn’t take any picture. My grandma used to laugh a lot with this story. She loved to come and visit us, she always called me “my little princess” and after having more grandsons, I know I was her favorite. The last couple of years our relationship changed because she decided that she wanted to live somewhere else so she moved to Xela. I can say I missed her a lot because I couldn’t get to see her really often. Then one day everything change, one day our complete family decided that we wanted to see her, all her sons and daughters with her kids and family. We all go because she was really sick, she had diabetes, one of the most horrible diseases and she didn’t do the treatment very well.  So we all go took the trip around Guatemala, since we were on vacations, and finally get to her house. We spent the whole day over there and around 5pm we left because my family and I we were travelling in airplane so it was getting late. When I say goodbye for the last time I sit on her legs, hug her very tight, kiss her forehead and tell her I love you and I will see you soon. We left and then we arrived in Guatemala City, since we were really tired we all go to bed right away. At 7am my father wake me up and told me that my mother and him will go, that I didn’t have to worry that they will come back for my brother and me. I was really nervous I didn’t knew what was going on, so I told him to tell me the truth, and In the instant that he said “your grandma pass away, I am really sorry” I just couldn’t believe it and the tears all of sudden start falling. I just run to my mother and hug her, I knew my mother was devastated so I try to be strong but It was really difficult. They explained to my brother and I that she had a heart attack and there was nothing left to do, but I was so confused 12 hours before I was with her and she was alive. I didn’t want to cry so I was waiting and waiting but the next day ways the day of the burial and in the moment I knew that was going to be the last time I was going to see my grandma I collapse and I cried for days. As time has passed I know she will be with me here in my heart and I will always remember her as the splendid person she was. 

R.I.P. Marcela Veliz Samayoa 

Always follow your heart


Since last year I didn’t have a great year I decided that I want this year to be amazing. Not only with my ordinary life but in school too. Since the grades that college asks are from junior and senior year, most of the time. I wanted to have great grades this year. On my first bimonthly term I had good grades not the best I can do, but they were good. Then on the second bimonthly term I had bad grades, I didn’t do any effort to have my grades better. Instead I fail a lot of classes and was worried. But the worry time didn’t last too much time because by my third bimonthly term I didn’t study, I didn’t do anything productive and I fail again and this time with lower grades. Now in my last term I did have to put a lot of effort in a lot of classes and I know I have to have high grades if I want to get to my senior year. At least I know two of my classes that were in risk I know for sure that I am going to pass with any trouble, then the other one is in risk, and the other one I will have to stay during my vacations taking a course. I hate the idea of missing one moth of my vacations because I didn’t do the only thing I have to do, study. It is really irritating the idea and I really don’t like it but that the consequence of being lazy the entire year, and this is the first year I will have to take that course. It’s really disappointing and frustrating  because I wanted this year to be the greatest one, the one I will show my teachers, my friends and family that I can do my best and I can do whatever I want to do because I know I can I am just a lazy person who didn’t fight for what I want.  I can say this year has been amazing, I am having the time of my life, not even school ruin it, but yes I do ruin my goals and my dreams, my desire of being the best I can.  This has been a year I will never forget, I have created so many special moments that will be in my heart forever. And I know that I will have to work hard if I want at least to be a senior next year, but I know I can do it. Now for next year I know I will have to work hard to have good grades, not only good but the best grades. I want to show to my parents and the people who think that I am not intelligent, that I am lazy and all I want to do its party, that I can be a great student and still party hard. Next year is my senior year, the most important year of all. Since the first day I will do my best effort and focus on my grades because even though I will go out a lot and I will have a better year than this one, I have to focus and be responsible for school. I cannot let the year pass me by and the last few months worry because I may not graduate. I know that won’t happen to me. I will try to do my best all the time so I can have high grades, not only because of my own satisfaction but because it is really important for college and even more if you are going away from Guatemala, in my case, Paris. I think it’s really important to always settle down for a while and think about what you are doing and where you want to go, because I can see a lot of people doesn’t care about the college applications and next an everything, but I do and I will work hard to get the best grades next year because my final goal is leave this city and get in Le Cordon Bleu College and study there and create more memories and experience to come back and make my dream come true.

lunes, 26 de septiembre de 2011

You never know a person until you open your heart.

First impression can be really tricky. Sometimes when you meet someone you get the wrong idea of the person or you get a totally different perspective of them.  I get to experienced this some years ago. When I was in elementary school a new girl came to our school and she was in the same grade. Everyone talked about her, not everything they said was good, but still I didn’t like her. She seems weird to me and since I heard bad comments about her I didn’t wanted to come and get to know her. We never spoke the year she got in, but next year was a special year because it was our sixth grade graduation and everything. Since my grade has always been really loud and scandalous, school thought that if they mix the classes we will be a little bit more in control. Let me tell you that didn’t work, but I take something good about that. I finally meet the “new girl”. She was nice and talkative so little by little we started being friends. After time goes by we started to create a really special bond and we became best friends. That year we fight, but we were such a little babies and drama queens, so it all ended really quick. We got in high school, really important year for girls, and everything was fine we were really close and we were having the time of our lives. As years go by we both learned that we did not have to be all the time together to be best friends, but we did spend a lot of time together. I can say she is really important to me, she taught me a lot of things. She made me a better person, she is like a sister to me, sometimes she is the mother I need and most of the time my partner in crime. She has been here the whole time, whenever I need her she is here and I know that if time goes by and we grow apart she will always be here.  I have so many special moments with her that they are countless. She has this big special part in my heart and she will always have it, it doesn’t matter how many times we had fight or we will, she will always be an important person to me.  Also she taught me that you don’t have to judge a person if you don’t know her. Sometimes some people seems really different as they are, but nobody is perfect and we all do mistakes, we are all humans. Don’t let anyone control your thoughts and if you are listening to some bad comments about a person you don’t know, it’s better to first know them and then you can comment about them. Talk its cheap and we all like it. So next time you get to know someone and you don’t really are interested in them, take your time and get to know them better, because you don’t know if you will fall in love with that person or she will be your brides maid or maybe the father of your children. I can tell I misjudged my friend I thought she was a rich bitchy girl that came along and wanted to be popular but over time I can say she is an amazing person and an amazing friend. She is always here, it doesn’t matter if I need a hug or I need to call someone or just want laugh she will always be her when I need her. We are always laughing and doing something together, I can say my family loves her and now she is on more of us. Sometimes I misjudge some other persons and then I think about this story and how this girl changed my life in a good way. I really appreciate her friendship and everything she has done for me, and maybe right now we are not in the perfect position but sister do fight a lot right? And even right now we are growing apart I think, and I hope she does, we will be forever friends.

lunes, 19 de septiembre de 2011

Distance it’s just a damn number, 2100 km.

Writing about an important person for you it’s like living again every special moment and feel every feeling that you shared together. One of the most important persons for me its Santiago. Santiago it’s a nineteen year old guy that lives in Colombia. He has brown and wavy hair, he has this beautiful light brown eyes and when he is exposed to the sun they turn green. His smile drives me crazy and there is nothing better than being held by his arms. He likes horseback riding and that’s how we met.  Five years ago, in 2007 he came to Guatemala to an international competition representing his country. He came with his friends and family, it was a really nice competition and we had so many activities. Since I was riding back then all the riders had a welcome dinner so we can meet the different riders from other countries. In that place I met him but I didn’t really like him, he had different thoughts with me and we didn’t agree almost in everything. In 2008 I had a trip to Colombia to represent Guatemala in other international competition, and I also had a clinic. We met again there and everything changed, he seems different, he seems handsome. I spent 20 days there so we get to spent a lot of time together, it was really nice because we really get to know each other and slowly I fell in love with his charm. I didn’t want to come back because I really start liking him, I know it was a short period of time but when you know his is the one, he is the one. He left me in the airport and promised me we will see again. We constantly talk and there was no day that we didn’t update what was going on in our life, but it’s really hard to love someone that it’s so far away.  We did talk about doing by ourselves our life and even though we were dating some other people we care about each other and still talk every single day.  Our friendship keeps growing with the time and I can say he is one of my best friends. He came in 2009 twice, so I was extremely happy to get to see him two times in the year. The first time he came on valentines so I was thrilled. He asked me if I could be his valentine, of course I said yes, and we had a perfect romantic day and also one of the best weeks ever. I can still remember the first kiss we had, it was the perfect magical moment  and it was so nice, it was the type of kiss that you have to stop because can’t do anything but smile.  The second time we had a great time and it was really nice to finally get to hang out together, spent some time doing nothing, but when you are doing nothing with the person you love it counts like a special moment. When he left I was so heartbroken because we didn’t know if we could get to see each other again and he left a week before my birthday. Then in 2010, last year, he surprised me when he came I didn’t expect to see him and I was very happy I spent as long as I could with him. Then the last day came and we have to say goodbye, we literally hugged 5 minutes and then he kiss my forehead and whispered to my ear “I love you”. In that exactly moment I knew my heart will always belong to him. That day I cry and cry and cry because I knew we wouldn’t see each other for a long time.  As time has passed our friendship and relationship has only become better. Even though we are apart I know I can always count on him because he is the one that makes me laugh when I don’t even want to smile, he is the one I can talk to about anything and he will always listen, the one that support me with my dreams and want to help me to accomplish them because he is the one who has my heart. He is one of the most important persons in my life, he will always have a big special space in my heart and I will always love him because even though one of us is clearly in the wrong place, I will wait until I can see him again because there is no such feeling like being in his arms. Someday somehow I hope we will be together.

P.S. Skype dates really help!

lunes, 12 de septiembre de 2011

Weather Forecast for Tonight: Dark.

Writing about the weather it’s like writing about your feelings, some days you can be happy like a rainbow or sad like the rainy gray day. Weather can surprise us, it can make us feel very happy or we can feel like we are alone or just you feel like having fun. Since I had lived all the seasons of the year in different places, I am going to explain how it makes me feel.  Summer, oh beautiful summer, the sunny days,  the days you spent with your friends at the beach. The season you want to meet your true love. Most of the days in summer I feel like partying, I feel happy. In this season you can do so many different things with so many different people. The hot days and cold drinks at the beach with my friends it makes me feel like I want to stop time and just live that moment forever. Going on trips with my family and get to know the world, these are the days I enjoy the most.  Spring, finally spring break, these days most of them the make me really happy. Not having school for a few weeks and going to visit my family, how can I not like it? Most of this days I make it family days, some days are like going through hell, since I have 4 sisters and a brother and my sometimes annoying parents it’s really difficult to agree with everything but at the end of the day we all love each other and we leave our problems beside and make some really good memories and inside jokes. Autumn, when not only leafs fall, autumn it’s mostly when reflection comes to me. When I go deeply in my thoughts and feelings, when being single affects me.  It makes me feel grateful for all I have and appreciate the persons that are around me and walk besides me through my life. Winter, always carry an umbrella and a scarf, winter precious winter. It’s the time when you have to take out your coats and boots. It can be snow o rain, but it doesn’t matter which one it makes me feel really cold. This time of the year it’s probably one of my favorites, not only because   really like wearing sweaters and scarves, but because I prefer the cold days better than the hot ones.

I feel like my feelings are connected and sometimes depend on the weather. I am person than most of the time is happy, I love being happy, and when I am happy people notice it because I am always laughing or singing or hugging everyone, but when I am in a bad mood like angry or sad or I just irritated people better keeps their distance. Actually when I am sad I like when people hugs me and just listens to me because it’s really important when I see they care for me.  I can be happy any day and it doesn’t depend on the weather it can be a rainy day or windy day, I like when the weather goes random. When there are rainy days and I am home alone or everyone is in their own world, there is when my mood changes, it makes me feel alone if I am single, it makes me feel sad if I am fighting with someone and most of the time it makes me miss people. Rainy days makes me want to lie in my bed and listen to music. It really makes me analyze myself and where I am standing, go deep in my feelings and try to figure out what really matters and what doesn’t, but I love the rain , I could literally sit over a tree when it’s raining and just enjoy every second of it. When I develop my creativity it’s when it’s dark, night makes me happy it makes me a hyperactive person and I like nights I have a lot of fun. Also time alone it’s important to me because it’s the time when you can think to yourself if the things you are doing right now would matter a year from now or if you have a plentiful life, and I don’t depend on weather to have this moments. As your life goes on you will experiment different feelings and different weathers, but if you think only sunshine brings happiness you have never danced in the rain.